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juillet 2005 July 27thI am feeling better. Spiritually and emotionally I think my head was screwy from the sinus infection cold-thingy I had. My performance was horrifying… But it felt good to get the "messing up" out of the way. I feel fresh & revitalized with a new outlook on the whole thing. It's horrible when you’re sick, performing, and you can feel it's all coming out wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. Doesn't matter how much you warm up if you can't breathe or hear due to "clogging." I really didn’t want to say anything about being sick because I agree with the comment about having to perform whether you feel good or not, but there was nothing I could do. Note to self: Don't sleep through song selections no matter how sick I am! “If It Makes You Happy” is VERY difficult to sing. I know that now. More later. Love to All! juillet 2005 July 25thBeing sick here has been awful. I feel so vulnerable. It's amazing how a fever can reduce a 27-year-old woman in the music business to a homesick 12 year old at band camp who misses her mother's warm touch. It's easy to forget who you are around here sometimes. juillet 2005 July 20thI had the most fun I've ever had on stage last night. I didn't know I had it in me! Personally, I think it was my favorite performance so far! Yeah for me! I got some new fashion going on and it felt good. I was so proud of everyone, and my heart swells every time I look at the faces of my fellow contestants. Cheers Kids! Love, Big Mamma Heff juillet 2005 July 15thIt's hot today, but I'm feeling peppy. I'm in love with the new song. I feel like I can do it well. Plus I'm hoping to pull off the "Jagger Strut". Daphna's b-day party was beautiful last night. I hope she knows she is loved here, and I hope it was at least a little like what she hoped for. I never realized how hard it was to gather 13 primping rockers in one room! We're impossible! My interview went well, but I'm having trouble answering the questions. Sometimes I just don't really have an answer. Or maybe I don't feel like a lot of the questions give me room to be myself with the answers. I dunno. juillet 2005 Rock Star:INXSI am trying not to have any expectations, and just go where it takes me. I hope to have a lot of learning experiences, whether it be musically or... socially, hee hee. I think we will be pushed to the limit by the show and each other and I am looking forward to the opportunity to rise to any occasion that is brought to me. I think we will learn a lot from each other and the band. I HOPE not to see fighting and backstabbing. I want us to bring new integrity to this show, and not just start fights to get attention. All and all I just want to play music with all these wonderful people.
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